bridal shower : Hi, my wedding isn't until next January, but I thought I would ask this question while I was thinking about it. Here's my question: I've heard that you shouldn't invite every guest from the wedding to the bridal shower - you are only supposed to invite close friends and family. Since we are having a small wedding and only inviting close friends and family, does that mean that I am still obligated to cut the list down? We are planning on inviting only 30-35 people at our wedding. I would feel uncomfortable to leave any of these people out. Does anyone know what the etiquette books say?I think in your case inviting everyone to the shower would be fine. I thinkthe basis of the "only invite close friends" is for weddings with largeguest list (for example, my then-fiance (now husband) was rather confusedto get an invitation to a couples shower for people he'd never heard ofgiven by people he'd never heard of -- it was infact for the daughter ofsomeone I knew from an organization I was involved with, who was planningon inviting both Steve and I to the wedding, and had passed the invitationlist on the the person giving the shower...).
bridal shower : My daughter is being married in July. Her sister (the MOH) and my sister(a good friend) are planning to throw a shower for her in June (after theMOH comes home from college). Question is: Is it okay for the sister ofthe bride to throw a shower she is after all the MOH? And is it alrightto have the shower at my house (MOB). The bride doesn't live at home soit isn't like she is planning it or anything. What is the opinion outthere? It would be good if people answered directly to my e-mail since theinvitations need to go out soon.Good morning,This is my first posting so please someone let me know if I am doingsomething wrong...Context:My fianc=E9 is American and I am Canadian. Our wedding will beheld in Montr=E9al, August 30th 1997. =Here is my question:(I'll try to keep it short). My MOH is organizing mybridal shower in Montr=E9al(which is where I and my familiy and friendslive). She asked me what to do about invitations to guests who liveoutside Montr=E9al(especially for my fianc=E9's family members). Does she=still send them invitations even though it is evident that they will notmake it? I think she should, but I am no etiquette expert. Pleasehelp...Thank you very much,Marie&Fred 8/30/97
bridal shower : Hello. Quite a coincidence... my fiance is from Montreal, and I am American.And we are getting married on August 31!I think you are talking about sending invitations for the bridal shower,correct me if I'm wrong.I don't think anyone would be hurt if they weren't invited to the shower,but perhaps with his family members it might be a good idea to send invitations anyway... you never know, they might want to come. And if peoplelive somewhat close, say Toronto, you might send invitations to them too,because they might feel like driving to Montreal just for the weekend, But I would point out to any guests who live far away that you sentan invitation because you would enjoy their company, but you don't expect them to make a special trip.Some people also have more than one shower, if their friends are clusteredin two or more places. I go to school in Philadelphia, so all of my friends are there, and my MOH will probably have a shower there.However, I suspect that I may also be having one in Montreal. A friend of my fiance, who I know well, offered to throw one for me. I think thathis mother, sister, grandmother would enjoy having a shower in their owncity. As for my family, my parents live in California and the rest of myfamily lives all over the U.S., Canada, and many other countries, so Idoubt if any of them will be attending any showers. It's impossible to geteveryone, I guess.
bridal shower : If your fiance's sister or someone like that wanted to give you a showerin their hometown, that might solve the problem with the family. OtherwiseI would say don't worry too much about it, I don't feel like the showeris a mandatory part of the wedding.In article Marie-Helene Darche writes:>From: Marie-Helene Darche Bridal shower question>Date: Sun, 02 Mar 1997 10:15:06 -0500I think etiquette says that you should invite whomever you wish tohave in attendence, and not *presume* about whether or not theycan attend. But I have a problem with this too, especially in terms of my FILs who live 1,500 miles away. They are coming to the wedding, and I don't want them to feel that this is a blatant gift-grab. So I guess I'm not much help...I probably won't in-vite them, though I think this is a _very_ individual decision! I would go ahead and send the invitations with an RSVP or "regretsonly" request. At our shower, my sister asked me for all the names ofpeople we would like there, regardless of whether they might be able tomake it from out of town or not (since the shower was held at my parents',the out-of-town people made about 95% of the guest list). Some people Ididn't expect to come made it after all!
bridal shower : From: ()Subject: Re: Bridal shower question Newsgroups: Date: 1997/03/03 (Shannon Sudderth) writes: I would be inclined to agree. However, let me warn you about somethingthat happened to a friend of mine. Her brother was getting married, and she lived about a thousand miles away. She received an invitation to thebridal shower, and to the bachellorette party, and she was outraged. She was a grad student with little time and less money, and she was angry atthe MOH for inviting her to these parties because she saw it as a plea forgifts, and an attempt to make her feel bad because she couldn't afford to make the trip out two or three times to attend all of the events (she alsothought the MOH was rubbing in the fact that her younger bro was gettingmarried while she was still single!) Obviously, she was being overly-sensitive. I told my friend that the MOH had no hidden agenda where shewas concerned, and invited her out of courtesy. The proper responsewould be "Thank you very much for the invitation, but I will be unableto attend."
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