engagement gifts : On Tue, 04 May 1999 16:09:44 wrote:*I know we in DC often find ourselves somewhat on the shared threshold of*southern and/or midAtlantic regions and customs, and around here it seems to be*1/2 and 1/2: 1/2 swearing by shipping and 1/2 saying "hey, just bring to theAs far as wedding gifts go, it's been my experience as a guest that atleast 80% of all attendees brought gifts with them to the wedding at theweddings I have attended in PA, NY, and CA. I went to one wedding in Mainewhere most people did not bring gifts with them - I can only presume thatthey, like I, thought it foolish to take a gift to Maine when the couplelived in Philadelphia. I don't know what people did in that case -personally, I invited the HC to my home the week before the wedding for aglass of wine and a gift presentation :). Otherwise, I (a Jewish personfrom Philadelphia PA, for cultural/regional tracking purposes) have alwaysbrought gifts with me to the wedding. As half of the HC, I must say I've had some different experiences. We gota lot of engagement gifts for some reason (NB: I'd never given anengagement gift to anyone and was really shocked to get a large number ofengagement gifts) - 80% of these were brought to our party, 20% wereshipped. We've gotten several wedding gifts shipped as well - and ourwedding isn't even til August!!!! Most notable of these is a full set ofcrystal (red wine, white wine, water goblet, champagne flute) for *14*people - this came from Sweden and arrived totally intact, not one brokenglass among them!! But I digress :). I'm pretty sure many gifts will bebrought to the reception.
engagement gifts : My husband and I hosted a dinner at a local restaurant using our engagementas an excuse for a party -- we honored all the other newly engaged couplesas well.However, since the occasion was more for the party and not for theengagement, we specifically requested, on our "invitations" NO GIFTS. Wewanted people to have fun, not to have to worry about what to bring. Thatplus the fact that most of our guests at the time were students who probablyhad little extra cash to spare in the first place.On the other hand, I attended an engagement party in which nothing wasspecified regarding gifts. I found that most people brought small tokengifts (bottle of wine, flower vase, fancy notebook, picture frame, etc.).Almost nothing was from the registry. Of course, I would imagine that thecouple did not EXPECT a gift, but appreciated them if they were brought.Bottom line is, do what you feel most comfortable with. It's nice to bringa small token, but certainly not necessary. Additionally, it does not haveto be expensive and certainly does not have to be from the registry.Believe me, between bridal showers and the wedding, the happy couple will bereceiving plenty off their registry, and probably more than they have spaceto store it all in!!
engagement gifts : On Wed, 21 Jul 1999 09:01:29 wrote:**On the other hand, I attended an engagement party in which nothing was*specified regarding gifts. I found that most people brought small token*gifts (bottle of wine, flower vase, fancy notebook, picture frame, etc.).*Almost nothing was from the registry. Of course, I would imagine that the*couple did not EXPECT a gift, but appreciated them if they were brought.This probably also varies (not the part about not expecting a gift - noone should expect a gift if we're talking about polite people :) - I'mtalking about the nothing from the registry bit.) We got so much from ourregistry at our engagement party, we had to go register for more stuff.Weird. -- hillary gorman...........Official Token "So that's 2 T-1s and a newsfeed....would you like clues with that?" for debugging your net or deworming your pet Net Access...The NSP for ISPs....The NOC that rocks around the clock.I've seen your question posted here before and watched many an answercome to it. There was little agreement last time I saw it.I think you can do as you feel comfortbable.Personally, my experience w/engagement parties : i've been to many andat most gifts were given. The gifts were smaller than a wedding giftand more like a shower gift if that makes sense. Common gifts werethings to use during the engagement period, or in the couples new homeGood luck decidingSarah
engagement gifts : On Wed, 21 Jul 1999 02:51:32 GMT wrote:--Posted via Talkway - Exchange ideas on practically anything (tm)."Common gifts were things to use during the engagement period" <-- Thisties into the issue Rachel brought up earlier about being able to useany engagement gift you receive before the wedding. I was always underthe impression that shower gifts were not to be used before the wedding,which is absolutely reasonable considering the shower is about 2 monthsbefore the wedding, generally. Obviously you can't use a wedding giftbefore the wedding, unless it comes early, and then the same rule wouldapply as the shower gift.Engagement gifts always struck me as different because people usuallygive you less expensive things you can use during the engagement. Myfamily knew my fiancé and I were moving into a new apartment at the endof the month, and the things they bought us were all centered aroundthat (eg decorations, small appliances, dishes, etc). In that case, Ifigured it was perfectly acceptable to use these things before thewedding because that is what the giver intended it for. I canunderstand keeping things like china and flatware aside, but unless youreceived the entire set then why would you use them anyway?
engagement gifts : I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't see it asrude/unacceptable to use engagement gifts before your wedding. I think that you've hit on a good point: knowing the spirit of the giftand its intended use is key. You knew that the things for your newhome were for use then, which is spot on.Similarly an engagement gift such as a Wedding Planner, or a picnicbasket w/ a note inside instructing the couple to use it say 2 monthsbefore the wedding to alleviate some stress are examples of giftsclearly marked to enjoy during the engagment.Sarah--Posted via Talkway - Exchange ideas on practically anything (tm).Engagement gifts are not given unless you are the dearest and closest friend tothe couple or a close relative. If you choose to give an engagement present, andyou also attend the wedding and reception, yes, you will need to ante up foranother.As for engagement parties, they are quite common and have been for years. Butmore and more, they are now being hosted improperly by the bride and groom.Properly, someone hosts a party - in the "old" days, the bride's parents hadthis honor - and at some point in the party, the engagement was announced. Thereason for the party was obscured in some fashion, be it a theme party, acocktail party or a dinner party for friends. The "real" purpose - to announcethe engagement - was kept secret until the appropriate time.
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